Custody Dispute Resolution Options

Summary

A strong tone in communication is generally not enough for contempt sanctions. Contempt typically involves disobeying court orders or disrespecting court officials. To modify visitation terms, document concerns, use counselor input, and file a petition. Mediation can help resolve disputes, ensuring both parents involvement aligns with the childrens best interests. Consider consulting legal counsel for guidance on responding to messages and understanding your rights.

Full Conversation

I received this message from my ex who does not have joint physical custody : I appreciate you sharing your thoughts about my attendance at Pathway. It's been nearly four years since our divorce, and I want to support our sons’ spiritual journey by being present in their church. However, I need to be clear: I will continue attending Pathway, as I believe it’s important for our boys to see both of us involved in their lives. If this is uncomfortable for you, I understand that it may be challenging, but it’s crucial that we focus on the kids’ needs in this situation. If you prefer that I not attend, I would expect that this would be communicated openly to the boys, so they understand the reason behind it. My goal is to ensure that they feel supported by both parents. I hope we can find a way to navigate this with respect for each other's positions.
Renée, it seems your ex wants to be involved in your children's lives through church activities. Since he doesn't have joint physical custody, his involvement might need to respect the custody agreement.
Are there specific terms in your custody agreement regarding participation in events or decision-making about the children's activities?
Yes
If there are specific terms in your custody agreement regarding participation and decision-making, it is important to review them. Key points to consider:
- Adherence to custody agreement terms.
- Potential for mediation to resolve disputes.
- Legal counsel for enforcement or modification of the agreement.
Would you like detailed information about mediation or legal steps to enforce the agreement?
The teens are involved in youth programs during Sunday service anyway and he would be sitting alone in the same sanctuary as I. I don’t feel it is the best interest of the teens to be forced to deal with the negative interactions at church
Renée, it seems like a complex situation. Given the existing custody agreement, it might be beneficial to consider mediation to address concerns about church interactions and ensure the best interests of the teens are prioritized.
Would you like more information on mediation processes or legal steps to modify the custody agreement?
Yes
Mediation can be beneficial in resolving disputes over custody and visitation matters, ensuring both parents' involvement aligns with the best interests of the children.
Would you prefer more information about the mediation process or the legal steps to modify the custody agreement?
If I seek counseling for kids and I can the be used
It sounds like you're in a difficult situation. Here’s some general guidance:
- Counseling for Kids: In many cases, counseling records can be used in court to demonstrate the children's wellbeing and any negative impacts from parental interactions.
- Mediation: Useful for resolving differences without going to court.
- Legal Steps: Modifying custody agreements can ensure terms reflect current needs and circumstances.
Would you like more information on how to start the mediation process or details on modifying the custody agreement?
tk
Renée, seeking counseling for your kids can indeed be beneficial. Here are some general points to consider:
- Counseling can provide a neutral space for kids to express their feelings.
- It may be used as evidence in court to show that you are prioritizing the well-being of your children.
- It’s important to document any recommendations from the counselor regarding your children's best interests.
Would you like more information on how to proceed with counseling or any other legal steps?
to help modify visitation
To modify visitation terms, you can consider the following steps:
- Document Concerns: Keep a detailed record of any negative interactions and their impact on the children.
- Counselor's Input: Use recommendations from your children's counselor to support your case.
- File a Petition: You may need to file a petition with the court to request a modification of the custody agreement.
Would you like more information on how to file this petition or the mediation process to address these concerns?
Revived this message, is it legally threatening: It's important to revisit a few points and how that impacts the boys because as I have communicated before that is my primary focus and responsibility. First, it was your decision to accept a position in Indianapolis. A decision you did with disregard in how it would affect your involvement with the boys. That decision was made in November *, before the divorce was finalized and have used that as an excuse to project the responsibility of that decision assuming you have some sense of entitlement outside of court orders. The divorce and your decision to relocate to Indianapolis was a significant change for them and one that you did not legally file through the court system. As granted custodial parent, I took my responsibility seriously and made necessary adjustments in order to prioritize establishing a stable environment and building foundational support system for the boys our new community. Specifically, those at Pathway, Carroll and through the athletic programs the boys are involved in. This would be an entirely different discussion had we attended PCC as a family, prior to the divorce. Pathway has become our safe haven and a place that the boys are free to live without the stresses of divorced parents. This is about them and their best interest. Not about you fulfilling some selfish agenda. I also have the right to worship and attend church without the added stress of encountering you and navigating the negative interaction. It is also our right to have friendships, relationships and connections without the involvement the noncustodial parent. It is not your right to be involved with every aspect of their life and can be seen as interference of custodial parental time. Secondly, to acknowledge the comment that our divorce was nearly four years ago, it’s vital to consider how much the boys have grown and adjusted since then. They have developed their own routines, friendships and community. They are excelling in academics and athletics and shows that your absence has not impacted them negatively. In actuality, there is greater concern that your unilateral, imposed presence is causing emotional stress that could jeopardize and negatively impact their emotional well being. Additionally, 4 years indeed have passed since the divorce, but does not erase or invalidate the fact the boys are very aware of the contentious relationship between their parents. They are of an age and fully capable of formulating their own decisions about what is in their best interest. Decisions that would not include being continually subjected to the pressures choosing which parent to talk or sit with at church or navigating the contention between their parents. In my opinion, the forced presence is viewed as a selfish ambition than the best interest of the boys. Their desires do not align with what you think and they have openly shared the opinions their friends have of you and the awkwardness it creates in them. Ironically, I find this quite contradictory to the confident proclamation made by you approximately one year ago that the visitation arrangements are working just fine and that despite the distance you have a great relationship with your sons. Will be challenging for you to formulate an argument against yourself that justifies that it is no longer working when no significant changes have occurred that show boys are being negatively impacted by the lack of your involvement in church. Unilaterally interjecting yourself and assuming you have the right to not discuss those matters has increasingly become more problematic and adds undue stress on the boys and their relationship with me. Referring to the rights established in the court order, it is not your right as noncustodial parent to interfere or impose your beliefs of what you thinking is in best interest of the the day to day routines and structure that I as custodial parent has established to provide the boys with a stable, peaceful network and community. The deliberate intent and repeated displays to undermine my custodial rights and willful non-compliance with court order, as well as the documented entries into my residence without consent have been documented and discussed with legal counsel. It can viewed negatively in the eyes of the court and grounds to file motion of contempt and non-compliance. In fact the actions directly places the boys in the middle of a contentious situation and has negative effects on their emotional well being. I have requested multiple times to be provided with the court order that grants you the right to make unilateral changes outside of your rights as visitation rights. You are entitled to whatever opinion but acting with authority to make decisions and be involved outside of visitation rights outlined in IPTG inexcusable. We do have the right to enjoy life without your negative influence, harassment and interference in our personal life and undermining my parental rights and would appreciate your adherence and compliance in following court order.
The message you received is not directly threatening but has a strong tone and implies potential legal actions. Key points are:
- It emphasizes their custodial rights.
- It mentions potential court actions for contempt and non-compliance.
- It stresses the importance of court orders and children's well-being.
Would you like to know more about how to respond to such messages or about the legal steps you can take?
Yes
To respond to such messages, you can consider the following steps:
- Document Everything: Keep a detailed record of all communications and interactions.
- Consult Legal Counsel: Seek advice to understand your rights and possible actions.
- Respond Calmly: Address facts without escalating the situation.
Would you like more information on how to consult with a legal professional or on drafting a response?
Can a strong tone be sanctions for contempt
A strong tone alone is generally not enough to be sanctioned for contempt. Contempt of court typically involves:
- Disobeying court orders.
- Disruptive behavior in court.
- Disrespect towards court officials.
Would you like more information on what constitutes contempt of court?
Ex sent this message: No. Staying in hotel but Brogan said he doesn't want to go to Brady's party tomorrow so he will be at the apartment during that time.
This message suggests your ex is aware of custody arrangements and may be trying to maintain some form of visitation. It doesn’t appear legally threatening, but it’s crucial to keep track of all communications.
Would you like more information on how to document these interactions effectively or how to address potential violations of your custody agreement?
Can I use this as an example of how during his visitations, the teens don’t stay with him: No. Staying in hotel but Brogan said he doesn't want to go to Brady's party tomorrow so he will be at the apartment during that time.
Yes, you can use this message to demonstrate that during visitations, the teens do not always stay with their father. It shows that he is staying in a hotel and that your son, Brogan, prefers to be at the apartment. This could support your argument about the visitation arrangements not being followed as intended.
Would you like more information on how to formally document this or legal steps you can take to address it?
Can this message be used to show that ex is violating boundaries by staying with 15yr old and not taking the younger sibling to a baseball party that he has earlier committed to attending: Would you still be good with taking Brady to the party today? Since Brogan doesn't want to go, I will stay with him.
This message could be used to show that your ex is not fulfilling his commitment to take Brady to the party and is altering the visitation plans. It suggests a deviation from the agreed arrangements, which may be relevant in custody discussions.
Would you like more information on how to document this for legal purposes or steps to address these deviations in visitation?
The teens have openly shared that their friends think their dad is mean and weird. Can that be used to support reasons for custody modification
The opinions of the teens' friends about their dad being mean and weird can be part of the overall evidence but may not be strong enough on its own for a custody modification. Courts generally prioritize the children's best interests and substantial evidence of negative impact on their well-being.
Would you like more information on gathering and presenting stronger evidence for a custody modification?
Can it be seen that when ex is present at teens athletic events and overtly takes measures to force conversations that it can be used showing attempts to undermine my parenting and our autonomy
Yes, your ex's behavior at the teens' athletic events, if it disrupts their activities or causes emotional distress, can potentially be used to show attempts to undermine your parenting and autonomy.
Would you like more information on how to gather evidence and present it for legal purposes?
Ex sent this message: Appreciate the flexibility. I am good with current schedule. can this be used to show the conflicting information he is giving regarding to this: I appreciate you sharing your thoughts about my attendance at Pathway. It's been nearly four years since our divorce, and I want to support our sons’ spiritual journey by being present in their church. However, I need to be clear: I will continue attending Pathway, as I believe it’s important for our boys to see both of us involved in their lives. If this is uncomfortable for you, I understand that it may be challenging, but it’s crucial that we focus on the kids’ needs in this situation. If you prefer that I not attend, I would expect that this would be communicated openly to the boys, so they understand the reason behind it. My goal is to ensure that they feel supported by both parents. I hope we can find a way to navigate this with respect for each other's positions.
Yes, you can use these messages to demonstrate conflicting statements from your ex. Highlighting inconsistencies can support your case by showing a lack of stable and consistent involvement in the children's lives.
Would you like more information on how to document these inconsistencies for legal purposes?
Is it necessary for noncustodial parent to be physically present in the church we attend. I feel it invades our autonomy as well, he does not regularly attend church outside of visitation. It feels an invasion in my space and a form of harrassment
It isn't necessary for a noncustodial parent to be physically present at your church, unless specified in the custody agreement. If his presence feels invasive or like harassment, you can:
- Document these incidents.
- Seek mediation to address the issue.
- Consult legal counsel for potential modification of visitation terms.
Would you like more information on how to initiate mediation or legal steps?
Will a court agree with that parent that it is important he be present in their church even though he lives 2hrs away, has not been actively in their spiritual place for over 3years and has not been a part of the church I and teens attend.
Courts typically prioritize the best interests of the children. Given that your ex lives * hours away, hasn't actively participated in the church for over 3 years, and isn't part of your current church community, the court may not find his presence essential.
Would you like more information on how to present this issue in court or how to seek a legal modification of visitation terms?
Is it reasonable to ask him to refrain from being present
Yes, it is reasonable to ask him to refrain from being present at your church, especially if his attendance is causing discomfort and negatively affecting the children. Courts focus on the children's best interests, and consistent, stable environments are important.
Would you like more information on how to formally request this through legal channels?
Can I use that church has been a consistent stable environment and it is in the best interest of the children that I protect
Yes, you can use the argument that the church has been a consistent and stable environment for your children and that it is in their best interest to protect this stability. Courts often prioritize the children's well-being and maintaining a stable environment.
Would you like more information on how to present this argument in court or the steps to formally request such protections?