Handling Unwanted Flirting Situations

Summary

The user is a young girl dealing with unwanted advances from a friend, Sam. She has expressed her discomfort to her friends but not directly to Sam. She is considering discussing the issue with Sams mother, Autumn, or reporting it to school authorities if it continues. She is also considering taking legal action if the situation escalates. She is seeking advice on how to handle the situation and how to distract her mind from it. She has been advised to engage in activities she enjoys, practice mindfulness techniques, and consider joining online support groups.

Full Conversation

So our friend sam has always been nice and sweet but recently he has been flirting with me and has made me really uncomfortable and idk what to do
Have you communicated your discomfort to Sam and asked him to stop? It's important to express your feelings first.
My friend have told him stop but i was too scared to say anything
What state are you located in? Laws regarding harassment vary by location.
id rather not say, its not considered harassment yet though
What specific actions has Sam taken that make you uncomfortable? It's important to understand the situation fully.
well he says things like this “i wanna hear you moan” and he rolls his eyes back and it makes me feel super uncomfortable
This could be considered sexual harassment. Have you considered reporting this to a local authority or a trusted adult?
well it only just happened, hes underage and so am i…is it still sexual harassment?
Yes, sexual harassment can occur regardless of age. Have you considered discussing this with a trusted adult or school counselor?
Yea i might discuss it with his mom but idk i feel like it might just be middle school boy behavior but i dont like it
Have you documented these incidents? It's important to keep a record of such incidents for future reference.
yes, its just this one right now but in the future my friends and i said we will not be taking that if he does it again
What specific actions will you and your friends take if Sam continues his behavior?
were gonna tell him to stop and then tell autumn (his mom)
What is your relationship with Autumn? It's important to know as it can affect how she might respond to your concerns.
im gonna go with my friend sisi, autumn and i know each other and are friends but obviously im not super close with her since thats not my mom
What is your plan if Autumn doesn't take your concerns seriously?
then ill tell her the truth, “i dont want to be around your son then, im not comfortable so i apologize but do not expect me to talk to him”
What is your plan if Sam continues his behavior even after you've spoken to his mother?
curse him out
What are the potential consequences you foresee if you choose to curse him out?
well i dont see any consequences…my friend sisi was there so she can vouch and i doubt anyone would be mad at me for doing it
What is your plan if Sam's behavior escalates after you confront him? It's important to have a safety plan in place.
then ill be telling another adult like my mom or something
What is your plan if your mom doesn't take your concerns seriously?
my mom will..but if she doesnt ill call sisi and she’ll vouch
What is your relationship with Sisi and how confident are you in her support?
*/* were best friends
What actions will you take if Sisi is unable to support you in this situation?
ill call one of the other friends that know
What is your plan if none of your friends are available to support you in this situation?
then ill hold it off until they are available
What steps will you take if the situation becomes urgent and you can't wait for your friends to be available?
ill tell my best friend thats an adult and we can both tell my mom and we can take legal action
What kind of legal action are you considering? It's important to know that in many jurisdictions, sexual harassment is a crime and can be reported to the police.
telling the police im really uncomfortable with him and i need some advice
What specific advice are you seeking from the police?
nothing specific, just what to do
What is your location? This will help me provide you with the contact details of the nearest police station or a relevant authority where you can report this issue.
oh no thank you i dont share my location
That's perfectly fine. You can contact your local police department or a trusted adult for advice. Remember, it's important to feel safe and comfortable.
yea i agree i just dont know what to do
What are your concerns about reporting this to the police or a trusted adult?
I dont have any concerns about that
What's stopping you from reporting this to the police or a trusted adult? It's important to ensure your safety and comfort.
its only happened once
Do you feel safe around Sam currently? It's important to report any incident that makes you uncomfortable, even if it's only happened once.
id rather wait until i have more proof
What kind of proof are you waiting for? It's important to know that even one incident of sexual harassment is unacceptable and should be reported.
i do feel safe, but not comfortable around sam
What steps are you planning to take to ensure your comfort and safety around Sam in the future?
i just wont hang out with him if he continues this
What steps will you take if Sam tries to contact or approach you after you've stopped hanging out with him?
i will be ignoring him and tell him to go away completely
hes going to my school next year so if it keeps happening ill tell a trusted adult there
What is the policy of your school regarding such issues? Schools usually have a code of conduct that addresses harassment and bullying.
they do not take it, and when school starts if he does it again i will be reporting it
What is the procedure at your school for reporting such incidents?
im not sure
You should contact your school administration or counselor to understand the procedure for reporting such incidents. It's important to know your rights and the resources available to you.
I know it isnt tolerated tho
What specific actions does your school take when such incidents are reported?
suspension, especially if its happened to multiple girls
What is the name of your school? I can provide you with the contact details of the school administration or counselor to help you understand the procedure for reporting such incidents.
i would rather not say, thats personal info
That's perfectly fine. It's important to know your rights and the resources available to you. You can contact your school administration or counselor for more information.
i can handle that part tho
What steps will you take if Sam's behavior continues despite his suspension from school?
i think thats when ill report it as sexual harassment, and thats when i know autumn will take it seriously
u there?
What is your plan if Autumn doesn't take the situation seriously even after Sam's suspension from school?
then thats too bad for her because id be taking legal action with multiple witnesses of the situation
What kind of legal action are you considering? It's important to consult with a legal professional to understand your options.
im not sure, it would definitely be something about sexual harassment. What are the punishments for that
The punishments for sexual harassment can vary depending on the jurisdiction, but they often include fines, imprisonment, or both. It's important to consult with a legal professional in your area.
alright
but one more thing
Sure, feel free to ask your question.
how do i get it off my mind…it just keeps bothering me and i feel like its affected how i look at him, is that normal? Or am i being dramatic
It's completely normal to feel this way. Have you considered seeking professional help like a counselor or therapist to help you process these feelings?
well you, my family cant afford a therapist
Thats why im here
What other support systems do you have in place? Friends, school counselor, or a trusted adult can also provide emotional support. It's normal to feel disturbed by such incidents.
mainly friends. School hasnt started yet but i will talk to a counselor if it keeps happening probably
That's a good step. Remember, it's important to talk about your feelings and not bottle them up. Do you know how to contact your school counselor?
At school yea
That's great. Don't hesitate to reach out to your school counselor once school starts. They are there to help you navigate through such situations.
for sure yea but for now, what can i do to get this off of my mind
Have you tried engaging in activities you enjoy or practicing mindfulness techniques to help distract your mind?
i havent, do you have any tips
Engaging in physical activities like sports, yoga, or even a simple walk can help. Mindfulness techniques such as deep breathing, meditation, or journaling your thoughts can also be beneficial.
alright thank you so much
You're welcome, ****. Remember, it's important to prioritize your safety and comfort. Don't hesitate to reach out for help if you need it.
bye*
Youre right, thanks ! Bue
Have you considered joining any support groups or online forums where you can share your experiences and learn from others who have been in similar situations?

General Information:
- It's normal to feel disturbed by such incidents.
- It's important to report any incident that makes you uncomfortable.
- Schools usually have a code of conduct that addresses harassment and bullying.
- Punishments for sexual harassment can vary depending on the jurisdiction, often include fines, imprisonment, or both.
What support groups are there
There are several online support groups such as RAINN (Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network), * Cups, and After Silence. These platforms provide a safe space to share experiences and receive support.