Exs Harassment And Defamation

Summary

Jaxs ex has been harassing him and sharing his private messages without his consent, causing emotional distress. He has not taken any legal action yet but is considering it. He is also concerned about his privacy as he is on her familys phone plan and her mother co-signed for his car. He has taken steps to ensure his physical safety at home and to protect his digital privacy. He is undergoing talk therapy and taking medication to manage his anxiety and stress related to this situation. He is also dealing with a furniture payment issue with his ex. He has made payments for the furniture they bought together and is supposed to keep it after making all the payments. However, he does not have a written agreement to prove this. He is considering taking legal action if she refuses to transfer the furniture to his name after all payments are made.

Full Conversation

i have an ex who I am in no contact with. We agreed to go one month without contact. That was caused by her following me around my home town. Walking into my apartment after she was kicked out to drop something off without permission. Swung at me and continued trying to get i
Did you report these incidents to the police? It's important to have a record of such events for potential restraining order applications.
No I didn’t because I was scared that I had to get physical with her too.
What is the current situation with your ex? It's important to know that self-defense laws vary by state, but generally, you're allowed to defend yourself if you feel threatened.
okay, I’ve been supporting us our entire relationship for the most part. She was short tempered and mean and selfish and she never defended on me. Openly touched servers at a place WHERE I WAS WORKING IN THE BACK. I wasn’t allowed to sleep in the bed I paid for. I wasn’t allowed to have friends. Every time I would do something she would get angry. I moved across the state and she broke up with me once I got into my apartment. We got back together but since that point it just got worse and worse. To be blunt I had fallen for my best friend. It was all emotional and I was not happy in my relationship so I broke up with her before it got physical. After we broke up she followed me to where my friend works and saw us hugging and kissing. The next day she moved out. We were working on ourselves we were still broken up but we were friends and it was going well until one night when the altercation happened
What exactly happened during the altercation?
i was at my friends work. I was leaning against her car. We were just talking she was trying to leave. My ex shows up and blocks her from backing up.
What actions did your ex take after blocking your friend's car?
I yelled at her to leave and we would talk about it later. She refused. I yelled louder and she swung at me while she was still sitting in the car.
Did you sustain any injuries from the incident and did anyone witness this altercation?
yes my friend and I believe a relative of and employee was also out there. I did not sustain injuries at that point noz
What actions did you take after this incident? Did you report it to the police or seek any legal advice?
i backed up and said “you swung at me” she immediately denied it and got out of the car
Did you or your friend document the incident in any way, such as taking photos or videos?
no we did not
What state did this incident occur in? This information will help me provide you with the most accurate legal advice.
it all happened so fast
What is the state or location where this incident occurred?
Pennsylvania
Did you or your friend consider filing a restraining order against your ex after the incident? In Pennsylvania, you can apply for a Protection From Abuse (PFA) order if you're being harassed or threatened.
I did and I did not because she has a state job and I just did t want to add cause more issues. I just want her to leave me alone
What is your ex's current behavior towards you? Are there any threats or harassment?

In Pennsylvania, harassment is a criminal offense and can lead to penalties.
we are in no contact I told her not to reach out to me for a month. I told her this because we were both very triggering and upset by it all. I thought once we both calmed down we would be able to handle this better.
Has she respected your request for no contact or has she attempted to reach out to you in any way?
she has. However, she is currently leaking my text messages that she took without my permission. She has outted my best friend which is traumatizing as well.
Has she shared these text messages publicly or with specific individuals? In Pennsylvania, it's illegal to disclose private communications without consent.
specific individuals
What kind of damage has this caused you? In Pennsylvania, you may have a case for invasion of privacy or defamation, depending on the circumstances.
Emotionally I’m a mess. I’ve had to leave work early a few times like today. She is causing issues in my best friends life
What kind of issues is she causing in your best friend's life? In Pennsylvania, defamation and invasion of privacy are serious offenses.
she sent those messages to her husband. Outted her for being with a woman to her husband and that has caused a domino effect of a lot of stuff with a lot of stress. It was t just once. It’s my understanding that she is still sending him things randomly
What kind of messages is she sending to your friend's husband?
the correspondence between my best friend and I
What kind of content was in the correspondence between you and your best friend that she is sharing?
the messages of our relationship
What kind of relationship messages are being shared? Are they intimate or private in nature?
even sexual ones
What actions have you taken since discovering she's sharing these messages?
nothing
What is your main concern right now? Is it to stop her from sharing these messages or to seek legal action for the invasion of privacy?
imtalki g to you
What specific legal advice are you seeking regarding this situation?
I also blocked her on everything
What kind of impact has the sharing of these messages had on your personal and professional life?
Well this happened my friends work. We work for the same company. I work at a different store but it’s already been talked about there
What actions has your company taken regarding this issue?
nothing as of yet. We were both off of the clock at the time so I assume we’re okay
What is your company's policy on personal disputes affecting the workplace? In Pennsylvania, employers have a duty to maintain a safe and non-hostile work environment.
but the gossip is insae
What specific actions have been taken by your colleagues due to this gossip?
Nothing really it’s just the fact the we’re hearing gossip and rumors from everywhere and I think both of us are just trying to do damage control
What kind of rumors are being spread and who is spreading them?
I guess the employees that saw the tail end of the altercation just spoke about it.
What actions, if any, have you taken to address the rumors spreading among your colleagues?
I just ignore it and try to redirect. It’s only been one person in my store but it’s a lot of people in her store
What is the nature of the rumors being spread in her store?
that she’s my lover and that I had to fight my ex in the parking lot and part of that is true but it’s things that shouldn’t have been spoken about
What actions, if any, have you taken to address the invasion of privacy and defamation caused by your ex?
nothing
What steps have you taken to protect your privacy and reputation from further harm?
thats a concern of mine
What steps are you considering to protect your privacy and reputation? In Pennsylvania, you may consider filing a defamation lawsuit or seeking a restraining order.
mom on her phone plan and her mom co signs for my car
Could you please clarify how your ex's mom being on her phone plan and co-signing for your car is related to your current situation?
I apologize. I am on her family phone plan. Also, her mom being a co signer on my vehicle makes me nervous as well.
What specific concerns do you have about your ex's mom being a co-signer on your vehicle and you being on their family phone plan?
that they can look at my messages or prevent my messages or calls. I’m worried about my car because her mom has access to my personal information and has the ability to take my car from me
What makes you believe that her mother can take your car away from you? In general, co-signers don't have the right to take possession of the vehicle unless it's explicitly stated in the contract.
I just assumed honestly
What does your contract say about the rights of the co-signer? It's important to understand the terms of your agreement.
im not sure to be honest but I can verify that later
What is the nature of the agreement you have with your ex's mother regarding the phone plan?
im on her plan she sends me a Venmo request each month and I pay her
What actions, if any, have you taken to ensure your privacy on the phone plan?
I reached out to att and got information on how to do a transfer but her mom has to initiate it and I’m nervous to reach out
What specific concerns do you have about reaching out to her mom to initiate the transfer?
her mom hates me because of everything. My ex kept a lot from her parents about our relationship for a long time
What specific information are you worried her mom might find out from your phone records or car agreement?
My personal messages and my privacy in general
What steps have you taken to protect your personal messages and your privacy?
Nothing
What steps are you willing to take to ensure your privacy and stop the defamation?
All that I can I guess. She’s really messing up two peoples lives right now
What specific actions are you considering to protect your privacy and stop the defamation?
i don’t know
I don’t not know what actions I even have to take
What is your main goal? Do you want to stop her from sharing your private messages or do you want to take legal action against her for defamation and invasion of privacy?
the damage is already done. There’s not taking back the text messages.
What is your current emotional state and how is this situation affecting your daily life?
im an anxious and triggered mess.
What steps have you taken to manage your anxiety and stress related to this situation?
therapy, meds, isolation, overworking
What kind of support are you receiving from your therapy sessions? It's important to take care of your mental health during such stressful times.
very good support. It really helps but the safety kind of goes away when I’m at home. I’m not sure if that makes sense.
Could you please elaborate on why you feel unsafe at home?
we lived here together and she has followed me me home before. It’s not that I’m physically unsafe but I’m anxious and hyper aware all of the time now
What steps have you taken to ensure your physical safety at home and to manage your anxiety?
my dog is no longer in a crate. I lock my doors. I have two cameras inside as well.
What actions have you taken to ensure your digital privacy, such as changing passwords or securing your online accounts?
i changed everything. I paid every bill so she had no access to anything besides the furniture bill and that’s in her name
What steps have you taken to ensure she doesn't have access to your personal information through the furniture bill?
its in her name. None of my information is on that
What kind of furniture bill is this and why is it in her name?
we bought furniture together. It’s in her name because I was still rebuilding my credit
What is the current status of the furniture payment? Are there any outstanding payments?
there are three payments. We agreed that I keep the furniture but I continue paying the rest of the payments. I have held up my end of the deal thus far.
What is the total amount of the remaining payments for the furniture?
id say around * dollars
What is the payment schedule for the remaining $*?
1st of October 1st of November & 1st of December
What is your plan if she refuses to transfer the furniture to your name after you've made all the payments?
legal action
What specific legal action are you considering if she refuses to transfer the furniture to your name after all payments are made?
I don’t know
What evidence do you have to prove that you both agreed you would keep the furniture after making all the payments?
just verbally and her asking me in messages for the payments
Do you have any written agreement or text messages where she acknowledges that you will own the furniture after making all the payments?
im not sure but I do not think so
What steps are you willing to take to ensure you have proof of this agreement about the furniture?
They are at my home and I have Venmo transcripts of transactions
What is the nature of the Venmo transactions? Are they clearly labeled as payments for the furniture?
yes they all say the name of the company
all of the Venmo transactions are labeled with the furniture companies name.
What is the name of the furniture company mentioned in the Venmo transactions?
Bobs Furniture
What is the total amount you have paid so far for the furniture?

In Pennsylvania, verbal agreements can be legally binding if they meet certain criteria. However, having written proof of the agreement can strengthen your case.
About *
What is the total cost of the furniture as per your agreement with her?
The agreement was we split the payments. When we broke up we agreed I would keep the furniture and finish paying it. In return she would get the cat and she agreed not to send any messages to anyone as well
What evidence do you have of her agreement not to send any messages to anyone?
in text messages
What is the content of these text messages where she agreed not to send any messages to anyone?
I told her if she did she wouldn’t get the cat and she agreed at first
What actions did she take after agreeing not to send any messages?
Well the altercation in the parking lot made her emotional and she sent them anyway
What kind of messages did she send after the altercation in the parking lot?
my messages to my best friend. Private and sexual messages
What actions have you taken since discovering she's sharing these private and sexual messages?
nothing
I have done nothing
I have not done anything about the messages. That’s why I’m here. I don’t know what it do
What kind of legal action are you considering taking against her for sharing your private messages?
anything
What options do I have?
what can I do?
I do not know what to do
I do not know what legal action I can take at this time
What is the nature of the messages she is sharing? Are they defamatory or just private?
what is the difference between defamatory and private?
what is the difference between defamatory messages or private messages
Defamatory messages contain false information that harms the reputation of an individual. Private messages are personal and not meant for public viewing. Sharing private messages without consent can be an invasion of privacy.
the screen shots she is sharing are my private messages
What is the content of these private messages and how is it affecting you?
sexual and private and it’s mentally taxing me
the text messages are sexual and private
invasion if privacy
What specific harm has this invasion of privacy caused you?

In Pennsylvania, invasion of privacy can be considered a form of personal injury. You may have a case if you can prove that the disclosure of these messages has caused you harm.
My mental health isn’t the best and I’m not the only person affected by that. The person I was texting is also dealing with issues
What specific issues is the person you were texting dealing with due to the invasion of privacy?
the messages were sent to her husband
What impact did the sharing of these messages have on her relationship with her husband?
hes terrible to her. He’s angry about it all
What actions has her husband taken after receiving these messages?
I can’t speak for her but she is not in a good place with it at all
What actions has she taken to address the situation with her husband?

In Pennsylvania, sharing private communications without consent can be considered an invasion of privacy. You may consider seeking legal advice on this matter.
She sent him the messages on Facebook messenger
What was the content of the messages she sent to her husband on Facebook messenger?
Can I find a lawyer to help me
can you find me a lawyer to help me?
What type of lawyer are you looking for? For example, a family lawyer, a criminal lawyer, or a civil litigation lawyer?
invasion of privacy
a lawyer that would handle invasion of privacy
What is the extent of the damage caused by the invasion of privacy?

In Pennsylvania, invasion of privacy is a serious offense. You can consult with a civil litigation lawyer who specializes in privacy laws. The Philadelphia Bar Association Lawyer Referral and Information Service might be a good starting point. Their contact number is (*) *-*.
Mostly just emotional distress.
What actions have you taken to mitigate this emotional distress?

In Pennsylvania, emotional distress can be considered in invasion of privacy cases. It's important to document your experiences and seek professional help if needed.
I spoke to my doctor about it I’m on meds and therapy
What kind of therapy are you undergoing and how is it helping you cope with the situation?
talk therapy and it’s nice to be understood
I do talk therapy and it’s nice to be heard and understood
What actions has your ex taken since the incident? It's important to document all interactions for potential legal proceedings. In Pennsylvania, invasion of privacy and defamation are serious offenses.
she keeps sending screen shots randomly to my friends husband
What kind of screenshots is she sending to your friend's husband?

In Pennsylvania, sharing private communications without consent can be considered an invasion of privacy. You may consider seeking legal advice on this matter. The Philadelphia Bar Association Lawyer Referral and Information Service might be a good starting point. Their contact number is (*) *-*.