Divorce And Protective Orders

Summary

You can file for divorce without your husbands consent. If you fear for your safety, you can apply for a Domestic Violence Protective Order. Moving states may affect your divorce process due to residency requirements. The house doesnt need to be sold before the divorce is final. An uncontested divorce in North Carolina generally takes 45-90 days to finalize. Both parties must fully disclose all assets and debts. Inherited assets are typically separate unless commingled. You may be entitled to spousal support. Mediation is a cost-effective option for dispute resolution. Legal aid organizations may offer free or discounted services. Emotional abuse can be grounds for a protective order. Prior domestic violence charges do not prevent you from seeking help.

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My husband has told me that he does not want any lawyers involved in our divorce. But I have been sitting here waiting for 16 months. And I need to get out I need to move back to Iowa and get on with my life. So I don't know what to do. And I need to know that if I do decide to file am I able to get a protective order or something that will keep him from being able to touch me. He hasn't for a while but I just don't trust him
I'm sorry to hear about your situation.
- You are allowed to file for divorce even without your husband's consent.
- If you fear for your safety, you can apply for a Domestic Violence Protective Order.
- Moving back to Iowa is a personal decision and may affect your divorce process.
Please consult with a legal professional for advice tailored to your situation.
Why would it affect my divorce process? Because I won't leave here until the divorce is final and then once the divorce is final we still have to sell our house. And for the most part we get along just fine but the last time I brought up getting a lawyer he got mad and threw a plate and a TV tray and I don't care for that.
Moving states could affect your divorce process because divorce laws vary by state. North Carolina requires at least one spouse to be a resident for six months prior to filing. If you move to Iowa, you might need to establish residency first before filing there. It's recommended to consult with a family law attorney.
So you're telling me that if we both plan to move out of the state after our divorce is final we have to stay here for 6 months?
No, I apologize for the confusion. The *-month residency requirement applies to filing divorce. After the divorce is finalized, you may move out of state without waiting for 6 months.
Yeah I know we won't leave the state either of us actually until the divorce is final everything is final The house is sold and all of that. I plan to stay and help him get the house cleaned out get it ready to sell get it sold and all of that.
That sounds like a sensible plan. It's important to remember to keep documentation of all property transactions, as they may be relevant for the division of assets during the divorce. Stay safe and consult a legal professional if needed.
Does the House have to be sold before the divorce is final?
No, the house doesn't necessarily have to be sold before the divorce is final. The decision of what happens to the house can be made as part of the divorce settlement, which might involve selling the house, one party buying out the other, or co-owning the property.
And I know that you don't know exact timelines but once you file a divorce what is the average wait time for it to get before a judge? Or if it's uncontested does it have to go before a judge?
In North Carolina, an uncontested divorce generally takes about *-90 days to finalize after filing. Yes, it does go before a judge, but you might not need to appear in court if everything is settled.
This is helping me so much Thank you
You're welcome! I'm glad I could help. If you have any other questions or need further clarification, feel free to ask. Remember, it's always best to consult with a legal professional for advice that's tailored to your specific situation.
So my husband is trying to tell me that he's going to do all the paperwork and everything and then I will have to sign the paperwork and he will take it before the judge, I can pretty much tell you that's not going to happen because I don't want it done that way and I don't trust him. If he tries to do that is that will that work is that something that he can do
In North Carolina:
- Both parties must consent to the terms of an uncontested divorce.
- You should review all paperwork before signing.
- It's always recommended to consult a legal professional for advice, especially if you have doubts.
Okay another question I have is that I have been on disability for four or five years and he has pretty much taken care of me. So how does it work with retirement accounts?
In North Carolina:
- Retirement accounts can be considered marital property.
- They can be divided as part of an equitable distribution.
- The division isn't always equal, factors like your disability may be considered.
Please consult a legal professional for tailored advice.
Like he has a retirement account that he inherited from his dad
In North Carolina:
- Inherited assets are typically considered separate property, not marital.
- However, if they were commingled into marital assets, they could be subject to division.
- Consult a legal professional for personalized advice.
What is commingled?
Commingling refers to the blending of separate property (like an inheritance) with marital property. For instance, if your husband deposited the inheritance into a joint account or used it towards a marital home, it might be considered 'commingled' and could be subject to division in a divorce.
He hasn't shared anything with me since he got his first *,* from his inheritance no I mean no joint accounts or anything like that. I don't know anything about any bank accounts I don't know if he has other money that he's trying to keep for me and maybe that's why he's not doing the paperwork that he said he would do 16 months ago
In North Carolina:
- If he hasn't commingled his inheritance, it's likely considered separate property.
- However, all financial information should be disclosed in a divorce.
- If you believe he's hiding assets, you may want to seek legal counsel or consider a forensic accountant.
So all legal things including bank accounts have to be disclosed?
Yes, during a divorce process in North Carolina:
- Both parties must fully disclose all assets and debts.
- This includes bank accounts, retirement accounts, real estate, and other assets.
- Failure to disclose can result in legal consequences.
- Consult with a legal professional for advice.
What is a forensic accountant?
A forensic accountant is a specialist who uses their skills in finance and accounting to investigate financial discrepancies, such as hidden assets in a divorce. They can analyze, interpret, and summarize complex financial data, often for legal proceedings.
The only problem I have is money. I will have money after divorce, clearly, but I don't have any now or I don't have much.
In North Carolina:
- You may be entitled to spousal support, both during and after the divorce.
- This can help you financially until the divorce is finalized.
- Consult a legal professional to explore your options.
I only make $* a month and they make it really hard for you to go to work because if you do then you could lose your disability. And with my disability comes medical and I need it
In North Carolina:
- You can apply for interim spousal support during the divorce process.
- If you have a disability, it can affect the amount of alimony you receive.
- Working may affect your disability benefits, consult with a legal professional or disability expert to understand the implications better.
Thank you so much for your help. If I think of other questions can I come back and ask them?
Of course! You're always welcome to return and ask any further questions you may have. We're here to help. Remember, it's beneficial to consult a legal professional for advice tailored to your specific situation.
I am about *% sure that I have to have somebody because I just don't think it would be smart of me to not have one. What is the mediator?
A mediator in a legal context is a neutral third party who helps disputing parties reach a mutual agreement. They facilitate communication, promote understanding, and focus the parties on their issues and options. It's often used in divorce cases to settle disputes.
Are they also expensive?
The cost of mediation can vary widely based on the complexity of the case and the mediator's experience. It's generally less expensive than hiring a lawyer for a contested divorce. However, it's best to research local mediators for a more accurate estimate.
Is there any chance of me being able to go and get a lawyer, possibly a forensic accountant and get some kind of a protective order all with no money up front?
In North Carolina:
- Free or discounted legal services may be available through legal aid organizations.
- Some lawyers offer pro bono (free) services.
- Some lawyers offer payment plans or work on a contingency basis.
- You can file for a Domestic Violence Protective Order at no cost.
Consulting a legal professional can provide more specific information.
I'm just scared to death. And I am a feisty woman with a very strong-headed personality and anytime that I try to not be submissive to him I pay. He's not physically abusive per se but he is definitely emotionally abusive and my therapist has seconded that.
I'm sorry to hear that you're going through this. Emotional abuse is serious and can be grounds for a protective order. Please ensure you're safe and consider reaching out to local domestic violence organizations for support. Would you like information on organizations near you in Stony Point, North Carolina?
Before you give that to me I would like to ask you a question. I'm not sure if I am even able to go and talk to domestic violence people because in * I was charged with domestic violence for protecting myself. We were in Arkansas where I didn't know a single person, except for his family,
I'm sorry to hear that you're feeling this way. It's important to know that everyone has the right to seek help. Being previously charged does not prevent you from reaching out to domestic violence organizations or seeking a protective order. Please stay safe and consult a professional for advice.
He attacked me and was trying to drag me outside of the house where it was raining He had my car keys and I would have been literally on the street. And rather than that happening I stabbed him in the shoulder with a tiny pair of sewing scissors but I was the one that went to jail. And before that happened I took a handful of pills and tried to commit suicide. I called my own ambulance. If I hadn't called my own ambulance I would have died.
So 5 years 6 years ago I was charged with domestic violence and many years before that he was charged with domestic violence in his first marriage
So I guess my question is if I have been charged with domestic violence 6 years ago will that have any bearing on being able to file a protective order against him
Are there any stipulations to filing a protecting order