Live With Grandmother Legally

Summary

In California, minors can petition for a change in custody if they can prove abuse or neglect. The process involves obtaining consent from the new guardian, filing a petition in court, and demonstrating that the change is in the childs best interest. Emotional and financial abuse, as well as neglect, can be used as evidence. Witness testimonies and documented proof, such as text messages and medical records, can strengthen the case. Its important to consult a legal advisor for specific guidance and to ensure all legal requirements are met.

Full Conversation

I have a question so my dad has diabetes so he has bad blood flow to his legs and his legs hurt a lot he has me massage them to help make them feel better but i don't like to if i don't he'll guilt trip me or even get upset
I'm sorry to hear about your situation. In California, forcing a minor to provide medical care can be seen as neglect. Here are your options:
- Report to Child Protective Services
- Reach out to a trusted adult
- Consult with a legal counselor
Please stay strong.
Yes i feel bad that he's in pain and i feel selfish that i don't like to massage his legs
It's okay to feel that way. Remember, you're not a trained medical professional. It might be best to encourage your dad to seek professional medical help. Please talk to a trusted adult about this.
Yeah my dad works *-* hours a day he leaves at like *-4ish and comes back at around * he usually sleeps when he comes back he said today that we can go to dinner when he comes back but i doubt it he'll probably just sleep when he comes back i usually cook for myself or his mom cooks sometimes
I understand your situation. It sounds like you are taking on a lot of responsibility. Legally, parents are responsible for their children's basic needs including food and supervision. Please consider reaching out to Child Protective Services or a trusted adult to discuss your situation.
Yeah because i also go to independent studies school so I'm home all day i want to go to public school if i lived with my grandma i would be at school while shes at work and I'll be home while she's home so I'll have someone to supervise me
Sounds like you've thought this through. In California, a minor can request a change in custody. Here are some steps:
- Obtain consent from your grandma
- File a petition in court
- Show "best interest of the child"
Please consult a local legal advisor for further specifics.
So what do i put under best interests? Do i say that my grandma takes care of me and doesn't neglect or emotionally abuse me?
Yes, the "best interest" clause usually includes factors such as the child's safety, emotional well-being, and the stability of the home environment. So, stating that your grandma can provide a safe and nurturing environment would be key. Consult a legal advisor to ensure you present your case effectively.
Oh ok yeah i think I'm going to ask the court if i can stay with her until all this is situated because i don't want my dad yelling at me or hitting me when he finds out
That sounds like a good plan. Remember, your safety is important. California law allows temporary custody during court proceedings. Please consider getting a restraining order if you fear any harm. Consult a legal advisor or Child Protective Services for assistance.
My dad is usually fine for the most part but when he gets angry he gets super angry and yells and cusses
I'm sorry to hear you're going through this. Verbal abuse can be damaging. It might be helpful to document these instances as evidence. Have you considered involving a trusted adult or professional who can help mediate the situation?
Yes so do you know what the chances of my grandma getting custody of me are?
The chances of your grandma getting custody depend on several factors:
- Her willingness and ability to care for you
- The court's judgement on what's in your best interest
- Proof of abuse or neglect from your dad
- Your preference, given your age
Consult with a local legal advisor for a more accurate evaluation.
I'm * i think i can share my preference i don't know dor sure though
In California, a child's preference is considered in custody cases, especially for children 14 years or older. You can express your preference to live with your grandma. Please consult a local legal advisor to guide you through this process.
So what can determine if my dad is unfit for retaining custody of me? Also i have * siblings and he didn't raise any of them can that also help with the courts opinion?
In California, factors determining parental fitness may include:
- Evidence of abuse or neglect
- Failure to provide for the child's basic needs
- Consistent lack of supervision
- The child's preference, especially if the child is * or over
Your dad's history with your siblings could factor into the court's decision. Consult a legal advisor for more specific guidance.
I told my grandma that he can get in trouble if he tries to take me away from her i told her to keep that in mind because he threatens to take me away from them she is a witness to that because he told her on the phone " i don't want to take her away from her but I'm going to have to if she doesn't keep up on her chores and has an attitude" I'm pretty sure she can tell the court about that too
Absolutely, your grandma can testify in court. Witness testimonies are crucial in cases like these. Are there any other adults or relatives who have also witnessed your dad's behavior?
Yes I'm pretty sure my grandpa knows a lot because we used to live with him he saw the bruises from when my dad hit me with his belt he was upset about it but he recently had a stroke and can only give one letter answers so i don't know if i can ask he he can go up there
I'm sorry to hear about your grandpa. Even if he can only give one letter answers, his testimony could still be valuable. Have you considered having him write a letter, or use some other form of communication to share his experiences?
No not yet i haven't talked to him about it
It might be a good idea to discuss this with your grandpa, if he's comfortable with it. His insights could be crucial for your case. Also, remember to consult with a local legal advisor for further guidance.
Yes because he would get mad at my dad a lot for the way he treated me after my mom passed away he would go to the casino a lot or hang out with his friends and expect my grandpa to watch me without even asking my grandpa didn't mind because he loves me but he would get upset he didn't ask if it was ok and then my dad would get upset and say "she would do whatever she wanted because her grandpa let her" but I'm not my grandpas responsibility
It sounds like a difficult situation. It's true, you're not your grandpa's responsibility. Your dad's treatment could be seen as neglect. Have you spoken to a legal advisor or Child Protective Services about these issues?
No not yet but my grandma and grandpa know oh and my grandpa's sisters know to they can probably help
That's good to hear. Their testimonies could be very helpful. Have you considered contacting Child Protective Services or seeking advice from a legal advisor to understand your options better?
No not yet my dad hasn't been like that so far but he still emotionally abuses me and medical neglects me
I'm truly sorry to hear about your situation. It's important that you speak up about any form of abuse. In California, you can report abuse to Child Protective Services. They can conduct an investigation and take necessary steps to ensure your safety. Have you considered reaching out to them?
No my grandma said to call them or the police if he ever hits me really hard and to take a picture for proof
I'm sorry to hear about your situation. If you're in immediate danger, call *. For non-emergencies, you can report to Child Protective Services in Merced. If possible, keep any evidence of physical abuse, it might be helpful in your case. Please stay safe and seek help.
Yes i had a picture of when my dad hit me on a morning before school a couple of years ago he hit me with his belt and it left a mark of the belt and my thigh was red but unfortunately a deleted it
I'm sorry to hear that. Even if you don't have that picture anymore, your testimony and any other evidence you can gather will be valuable. Please reach out to Child Protective Services or a trusted adult immediately.
Ok
It sounds like you're going through a tough time. I strongly urge you to consult with a local legal advisor or Child Protective Services to discuss your situation further. They can guide you on the best steps to take, considering your safety and well-being. Please stay safe.
I was thinking if i can record me and my grandpa like I'll write down questions and have him answer them on video or haveing him go to court and his sister's because they were there when my dad would leave me with my grandpa
Yes, recording a conversation can be useful evidence, especially if your grandpa can confirm any neglect or abuse. Make sure to obtain his consent. In California, it's illegal to record a conversation without the knowledge and consent of all parties. Please consult a legal advisor for further guidance.
Oh ok yeah I'll keep that in mind if i record my dad getting angry and yelling like when he gets his road rage is that illegal?
In California, it's legal to record a conversation if all parties involved are aware and give consent. If your dad is aware and consents, it is legal. However, recording without his knowledge can be considered illegal. Please consult a legal advisor for further guidance.
Ohh ok
Indeed, it's a complex situation. If you feel unsafe or witness more instances of abuse, please do not hesitate to contact Child Protective Services or your local authorities. Have you considered reaching out to a school counselor or another trusted adult about this situation?
Yeah because he gets really bad road rage i remember one time when we went to pick up my brother he got road rage and someone showed us a gun and my dad flipped him off and then we had to call the police
That sounds like a dangerous situation. Road rage can be considered reckless behavior, which can be used in custody cases. Have you informed any authorities or a legal advisor about these incidents? Please stay safe and consider discussing this with a trusted adult.
If i text my brother and ask if he remembers that without him knowing about this and using it in court is that illegal?
In California, it's generally legal to use text messages as evidence, as long as they're obtained legally. However, if the text could be seen as deceptive or manipulative, it could be considered unethical. Please consult a legal advisor for further guidance.
Oh ok thanks for that
You're welcome. Remember, your safety is the priority. Please don't hesitate to reach out to legal authorities or Child Protective Services. Do you have any other questions about this process?
Yes can i fill out the papers or can i help my grandma fill then out? If so how do i fill them out to be organized
In California, as a minor, you'll need an adult to file custody papers. You can help your grandma fill them out. Ensure to include all necessary details like your name, your dad's name, your grandma's name, and your reasons for wanting to change custody. Consult a legal advisor for specific guidance.
Ok do i need to attach the proof like pictures of text and medical records and bank statements?
Yes, providing supporting documents can strengthen your case. These may include:
- Pictures of abuse
- Medical records indicating neglect
- Text messages or emails supporting your claims
Ensure you have legal rights to all documents. Consult a legal advisor before submitting.
And if someone knows about the case can they still serve papers?
In California, anyone over the age of *, who is not a party to the case, can serve papers. However, it's often recommended to use a professional process server or the Sheriff's Department to ensure proper service. Consult with a legal advisor for specifics.
Oh ok and i was wondering if i can tell the person serving the papers if my dad has any questions to call my grandma? And can we record him just in case he starts yelling and cussing?
Yes, you may instruct the person serving the papers to direct your dad's questions to your grandma. As for recording, keep in mind California's two-party consent law. Both parties must consent to being recorded. Consult a legal advisor for more details.
So is proving emotional abuse good evidence i was doing some research and people say it's hard to prove
Yes, emotional abuse can be used as evidence in custody cases. However, it can be challenging to prove. Some ways to substantiate emotional abuse include:
- Testimonies from witnesses
- Medical or psychological records
- Documented changes in behavior or performance at school
Consult a legal advisor for further assistance.
Yes because i have my grandma as a witness to a few of those and i have text of him saying he is going to hit me if i don't finish my homework or if i don't clean
That's a good start. Witness accounts and text messages can be used as evidence. Please make sure to save these texts and share them with your legal advisor or Child Protective Services. Have you talked to a professional about this yet?
Yes i sent them to my grandma and i told her to save them i deleted it off our conversation just in case he looks through my phone and deletes them
That's a smart move. Protecting evidence is crucial in cases like this. Have you considered meeting with a legal advisor to discuss the next steps? They can provide guidance tailored to your unique situation.
No not yet when i go back to my grandma's she said she'll do all that and she's told me to get the app for my bank to show whenever my dad takes money out of it
That's a wise decision. Monitoring your bank activities is important. Has your dad been taking money from your account without your consent? This could potentially be another form of abuse.
Yes for awhile now
I'm sorry to hear that. In California, it's illegal for parents to take money from their minor child's account without consent. This can be seen as financial abuse. Have you discussed this with your legal advisor or reported it to the authorities?
My mom left me money from when she passed and i was getting social security checks every month they were almost $*,* and i have und $*,* in my bank account and i don't spend any of that money
I'm sorry to hear about your financial situation. Unauthorized withdrawal from your account, especially funds meant for your support, can be considered financial abuse. Have you considered reporting this to the bank or local authorities?
Yes i said i was going to use that money for college and to buy an apartment or a car and he laughed and said your not going to college like in a tone making fun of me
I'm sorry to hear that. It's important to protect your financial future. Has your grandma or a trusted adult helped you to take steps to secure your account and prevent unauthorized access?
No not yet i have another account that my aunt is in charge of my mom let her be in charge of that one because she knew how my dad was with money he was trying to see if he can have access to that account
That's a smart decision by your mom. Has your aunt been able to keep the account secure? It might be helpful to shift all your funds to the account managed by your aunt. Have you discussed this with her?
No not yet I'm waiting for when we meet again because my dad is here when she's off work and everyone here would hear my conversation and tell my dad
I understand your concerns about privacy. You might want to consider communicating through a secure text or email, if that's possible. Have you thought about doing that?