Living With Grandmother Process

Summary

In California, a 16-year-old can file for guardianship to live with their grandmother. The process involves filing a petition, notifying legal parents, and attending a court hearing. Evidence of neglect and abuse by the father, such as medical neglect and threats, can strengthen the case. Third-party testimonies and documented evidence are crucial. Consulting a lawyer for personalized advice is recommended.

Full Conversation

Hello so i want to live with my grandma I'm currently * i live in Merced california and we are trying to go to court so she can get custody of me
Hello, in California, you can file for a guardianship, where your grandmother would assume responsibility for your wellbeing. Here are the general steps:
*. File a Petition for Appointment of Guardian of the Person.
*. Send notice to the legal parents.
*. Attend a court hearing.
Please consult with a lawyer for personalized advice.
Yes so i used to get really bad social anxiety and i used to be afraid to talk to people about my feelings but she has helped me to become more confident and taught me how to love myself she has also helped teach me street smarts because i never knew any she always is showing me how to be safe
It sounds like your grandmother has been a great support for you! In a court hearing for guardianship, your feelings and experiences could be important. It might be beneficial to prepare a statement about why you feel safer and more confident living with her.
Yes i also have people who have seen the positive changes from me being with her should i have them speak too?
Absolutely. In court, third-party testimonies can help build a stronger case. They can provide statements or affidavits attesting to your improved condition and your grandmother's positive influence. However, it's advisable to consult a lawyer on the best course of action.
So i have evidence of my dad neglecting my medical care by not taking me to the doctors or dentist in years i have proof of him taking money out of my bank account for personal use and i have evidence of him threatening to hit me
It's good that you've gathered evidence. In your situation, these can be used to demonstrate your father's neglect. Here are the general steps to follow:
*. Organize your evidence.
*. Submit it when filing your petition.
*. Present it in court.
However, please consult a lawyer for guidance tailored to your situation.
I told my grandma that i haven't been to the doctors in years and she made me an appointment and is going to pick me up and take me
That's great! Regular medical checkups are important. If you decide to move forward with the guardianship case, this could serve as additional evidence of your grandmother's care for your wellbeing. It may be beneficial to keep a record of these appointments.
Can i ask my doctor for a record of my appointments?
Yes, you have the right to access your medical records, including your appointment history, under the Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act (HIPAA). You can request this information from your doctor or medical provider.
My grandma also offered to get me a therapist if i want or need one I've been wanting to get one for about over a year but my dad hasn't gotten me one he'll make excuses like I'm busy or he'll say just wait
It's great that your grandma is supportive. If she arranges therapy for you, it can be another proof of her care. Did you ever communicate your need for therapy to your dad in writing? This could be helpful evidence as well.
No only while we were talking
In that case, it may be beneficial to start documenting your requests and his responses. This could serve as additional evidence of neglect. Do you have a safe way to do this?
Oh ok yeah I'll start doing that
Perfect! Having a record of these conversations could be very beneficial. Always remember to consult with your lawyer to ensure you're gathering and presenting your evidence in the best way possible.
Yeah i have some text of my dad saying he'll hit me like if i don't finish my homework or if i didn't clean
That's very concerning. If you feel unsafe, you should report this to the authorities. In court, these texts could serve as evidence of abuse. Are you able to safely store and print these messages?
Yes i have screenshots of them and i sent them to my grandma just in case
That's a wise move. Screenshots can serve as tangible evidence of your situation. It's crucial to keep them safe and accessible. Remember to consult with your attorney on how best to present this evidence in court.
I have a text of him saying "Just stay home tomorrow I already loose to much sleep l'm not going to get * hrs sleep then pick you up and get * more then work"
This seems like an example of neglect. It's crucial to keep this and any similar messages as they could make your case stronger. Have you discussed these instances with a lawyer yet?
Should i use that
Absolutely. This could be used as additional evidence of neglect. It shows a lack of commitment to your wellbeing. Always consult with your attorney before presenting any evidence.
No i don't have a lawyer yet my grandma said to wait until after the 15th because the 15th is my birthday party and she doesn't want him saying i can't go
That's understandable. Once you're ready to proceed after your birthday, consider consulting with a lawyer. In California, there are free or low-cost legal aid services available. Would you like information on those?
Yes i remember telling him about how my grandma said she wanted to throw me a sweet * and he said "saves me money" he sounded upset at the time though
It sounds like your relationship with your father is strained. This might be another point of discussion to have with your lawyer once you consult one. Do you have any other questions or concerns about this process?
Yes do i print out the evidence and show the lawyer and then talk to the lawyer about my feelings?
Yes, you can print out your evidence and bring it to your first meeting with your lawyer. It's also essential to discuss your feelings and experiences, as this can help the lawyer better understand your case.
Do you want me to send you what the text of my dad threatening to hit me say?
I'm sorry, but as an automated legal information provider, I can't accept or examine personal documents or texts. It's crucial to share this with your lawyer when you meet them. They can guide you on how to use it effectively in your case.
Ohh ok because i was going to copy them and text them to you
I appreciate your intention, but unfortunately, I can't review personal messages. It's vital to show these texts to your lawyer when you consult them. They can advise you on the best way to use this evidence for your guardianship case.
Oh ok i have a quick question
Of course! I'm here to help. What's your question?
My dad has said this before "Hey you retarded dog got out again....I'm not gonna try to find him for the 4th time if you and grandma wanna look on lost pets Merced that's up to you guys" will that count as anything?
It could potentially be used as additional evidence of neglect. However, the context and frequency of such statements would matter. Have these kinds of remarks been a consistent pattern?
Not that i can think of he does call my dogs retarded when he's upset like in that situation
Although it's concerning, a single incident may not significantly impact your case. However, if you notice a pattern of neglect towards your pets, it could be worth mentioning to your lawyer. Do you have any other examples of his neglectful behavior?
He hits my dogs when they don't listen and he calls them names a lot my oldest dog he gets mad at her because she spins in circles when she's excited
That's distressing to hear. In California, this could be considered animal abuse. Do you have any evidence of this, such as videos or witness testimonies? It might be important to share this with your lawyer as well.
No but my oldest dog is really skidish im sure if he put his hand near her she'll get scared
That's concerning. If you believe your pets are being abused, you can report it to animal welfare. Do you feel safe doing this? It could also be valuable information to share with your lawyer.
Well if I'm being honest I'm sorry but this might sound bad but i don't really want my dogs anymore because they can interfere with me going to my grandma's because i have a pitbull and shes had a bad experience with them
It's okay to admit that. If you feel unable to care for your dogs, there are legal and safe ways to rehome them. Do you need guidance on how to proceed with this in California?
No i was thinking about giving them to a family member or someone i know will take good care of them
That's a responsible decision. Before rehoming your pets, it's important to ensure the new caretaker is willing and able to provide proper care. Have you discussed this with the person you're considering giving them to?
I haven't found anyone yet but my grandma and my aunts said they'll ask people they know are good with pets
That's a good start. Remember, it's important to ensure the potential new caretaker is prepared for the responsibility. In the meantime, do you need any further legal guidance on your guardianship case?
Yes can my dad saying that my grandma will spoil me and let me slack interfere with her getting custody because i know she won't let me be lazy she doesn't like when i am she always takes me to go do things my grandma and my step grandpa always make time for me
In a custody case, the court primarily considers the child's best interests. If your grandma provides a safe, nurturing environment, your dad's opinion might not hold much weight. However, it's important to have a lawyer guide you through this. Have you started looking for one?
No not yet one of my friends aunts is a lawyer and i was asking her a little about this but she is licensed in Chicago but she offered to find a lawyer for me
That's a great starting point. Having a lawyer who is familiar with the family law in your state is crucial. Just make sure the lawyer you find is licensed in California. Can I assist you with anything else?
I was wondering i know a few family members who raised their grandkids should i ask them for advice too?
Absolutely, family members who have gone through similar situations can provide valuable insights and advice. However, remember that each case is unique and always consult a legal professional for advice tailored to your situation.
Yes because my grandma went through something similar with my cousins her grandsons she was asking for visitation right but they're mom had full custody of them she said it's different with me though because I'm older and I'm the one asking if she can get custody
That's a valuable perspective. Yes, since you're older and you're the one requesting the change, your opinion could hold more weight in court. Have you spoken to a lawyer about the differences between your case and your grandma's previous experience?
No not yet
That's okay. When you do consult a lawyer, make sure to mention these details. They can help explain how your situation might be viewed differently by the court. Do you need any further guidance at this point?
Yes i will most definitely i love my dad but he doesn't take good care of me and I'm also very unhappy here i also want to live what's little of my childhood left because i never really had a good one my mom had cancer since i was in pre school and she passed away from it when i was * my dad has been to the hospital multiple times he went into a diabetic coma when i was little and he went again recently for open heart surgery and my grandpa in merced who we lived with and i was really close to had a stroke about a year ago and he cant really talk and i hardly see him anymore i also dont have my friends or family here so it's difficult for me i just want tk be happy again
I'm really sorry to hear about your situation. It's important that your voice is heard in this process. Have you considered speaking to a child advocate or a counselor who can provide support and guidance during this time?
We have a school counselor but i haven't talked to her about this I've only talked about this to my friends my grandma and my aunts and one of my cousins
It could be helpful to speak with your school counselor about this. They're trained to provide support in situations like yours. They can also guide you in dealing with these emotional challenges. Would you feel comfortable talking to them?
I don't know because I'm afraid my dad will find out
That's a valid concern. It's important to feel safe. You can ask your counselor about confidentiality before discussing your situation. They're usually obliged to keep your information private unless you're at risk. Would that work for you?
My dad has threatened to take me away from my grandma he said he'll cut off all connections from her and my moms family until I'm * i told her that if she doesn't hear from me in awhile to do a welfare check just in case he does that
That's a very serious threat. In California, it's illegal to isolate a child from their family without a valid reason. Have you documented these threats? This could be useful evidence in your guardianship case.
No but he told my grandma about it on the phone so she can tell the court about it too
That's important information. If your grandma can remember the details of that conversation, she might be able to provide a statement for court. Has she considered doing this?
Yes because he gets mad because i stay in my room all day but i don't want to tell him I'm depressed because when i come back from my grandma's i cry a lot and he said "either you need to stop being like this when you come back or you can't go anymore"
Yes
I'm sorry to hear about your struggles. It's very important to talk about these feelings with a professional who can provide support. Have you considered reaching out to a mental health professional or a trusted adult about your feelings?
Yes i usually talk to the * number
That's a great step in seeking help. Remember, it's okay to express your feelings and ask for support. Is there anything else you would like to know about the legal process of your grandmother gaining custody?
Yes so after all that you heard what are the chances of her getting custody of me?
Based on the information you provided, there's a reasonable chance your grandmother could gain custody. However, the final decision will be made by a court. They'll consider:
- Your preferences
- Evidence of your father's neglect and abuse
- Your grandmother's ability to provide a safe, nurturing environment
Please consult a lawyer for personalized advice.